It was like he was just melting, loving being pushed back the way he was,
kissed the way he was. Billy was making him a mess and he would beg for it
even more if he had to.
He moaned, arching away from the door before grasping at him and trying to
pull him even harder. "Bed. Fuck, bed now. Now please..."
He shifted, turning more before just laying his head on Billy's chest with
a chuckle. "Is that all you're ever gonna call me?" He asked playfully,
looking more than sated as he looked up at the other teen.
He stretched up, pressing his lips against Billy's and sighing softly as he
melted against him. After a few moments, he laid his head back down,
perfectly content to stay like that.
Billy shifts so he can wrap his arm around Steve's shoulder and hold him close. "Until the day it stops being true."
He chuckles softly before pressing a kiss against Steve's forehead before returning the kiss he offers. Billy is also content to stay like this, at least for now.
Steve was so relaxed, body tired out and sore in all the right places. His
arm curled around his waist, holding him close as his eyes started to slip
shut. "M'tired." He murmured, yawning before getting comfortable.
"Just...stay the night. With me. Its gonna be Saturday. Just stay with me."
He breathed, voice going quieter.
It's easy to pretend that they can have this, that they can stay there and enjoy each other's company for the night and Billy wants to let them have it.
But he knows that come morning, the illusion will be over and this will end.
He smiled sleepily, tipping his head back so he could press his lips
against Billy's. His head went back to the other boy's shoulder and within
moments after that he was asleep.
He knew it couldn't last. Not really, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do
what he could to let them have this as often as he could.
When Steve wakes the next morning it will be to an empty bed, Billy having snuck out before the sun rose and heading home before Neil could notice he wasn't there to take Max to the arcade the next morning.
He pretends it's just the water from the shower running down his face and not the tears he won't ever admit to shedding.
When he sees Steve later on, when he's there picking up Max, he pretends he hadn't seen him at all.
Steve frowned when he woke up, hand pressing to the spot Billy had been the
night before. He sighed, shaking his head before getting up for the day. He
showered and ate, taking care of some errands before he went to the arcade
to see the kids.
He was talking to Max when he spotted Billy and he smiled, waving at him as
the girl ran to meet him. But...well.
Steve might not be the smartest, but he knew the difference between
actually not being seen and being ignored. And fuck it hurts way more than
it should.
And it stayed like that. For days, every time they were within eye sight of
one another, Billy would pretend that Steve didn't exist. And every single
time, Steve felt like an idiot for ever thinking it was more than just
Billy getting a piece of ass.
In the end, he started avoiding Billy. If there was a party, he didn't go.
If Max was out with the others and he was hanging out with them, he would
find out what time she was supposed to be picked up and leave early.
Billy knew. He'd have to be stupid not to. He'd hurt Steve. Every time they saw each other and Billy pretended he didn't see him, he knew he was hurting him. And it was destroying him.
But in the quiet of his room or when he was in the shower, he remembered the expression on Neil's face the day he'd found him with that boy and he'd woken up in the hospital. They'd moved to Hawkins not long after.
He couldn't let it happen again.
When Max got out of the car, it was with a weird look as she raced into the arcade where Steve and the others were waiting.
Steve looked up from the game he and Dustin were playing when Max came in
and he frowned. He straightened up a bit, looking towards the door but he
didn't see Billy following so he walked over to the younger girl.
"Max, hey. Whats wrong?" He asked, sitting down in front of her before
pointing to the other chair. "Did something happen?"
He was on the verge of asking about Billy, but he stopped himself. The
other boy didn't want to see him so there was no point asking about him.
"Huh? Oh, no nothing." Max rummages up a quarter and puts it into the game next to Dustin and Steve.
"Billy's just being his usual, weird self." She shrugs and turns her attention to the game as it starts up. "There's some kinda bug up his ass and he thinks he's being subtle but really he's just being dumb. Like I was gonna miss the way he got all weird as soon as he saw your car." She looks at Steve suspiciously.
"Did you two fight again? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
He looked guilty for a moment before shaking his head. "No we didn't have a
fight." He said, though he pointedly didn't answer whether he'd been hurt.
"Its no big. I promise." He rubbed her shoulder before he sighed and stood
back up. "Just...best we don't see each other." He said, his voice going
quiet, sounding reluctant to have to say it.
"What time is he supposed to be picking you up?" He asked, like he had
asked every time lately, so he could leave before Billy ever got there.
Max gives him a really pointed look before turning away with a shrug.
"He said he'd be here at 5:30." Just before dinner. He and Tommy H were catching up or something beforehand. Whatever, she hadn't really listened.
It's a good 45 minutes later that Max is able to corner Steve away from the others.
"Billy's been acting really weird and he's only ever done this once before. In California, just before we moved. And I know it has something to do with you. What did he do?"
He nodded before leaving her alone. How she managed to end up cornering
him, he would absolutely never know but he sighed, jaw tight as she started
questioning him.
"Max just...Billy didn't do anything, okay?" He said softly, sitting down
and scrubbing a hand over his face. "Wait, you said in California? What
happened in California?" He asked, tilting his head as he looked at her.
"Did something bad happen?" He bit his lip, shifting a bit and glancing at
the clock on the wall. It was still before 5:00 so he was alright. He just
wanted to be out of there by 5:15.
"A lot of bad things happen to Billy. He's a jerk." But she knows what he means, so she sits down with a sigh.
"Billy was friends with this guy and they were always together, it was weird but so is Billy so whatever. And they were hanging out in his room and the music was really loud and Neil came home and was really mad and so he went to tell Billy to turn his music off. I was in the kitchen helping Mum and the next thing, his friend takes off out of the house, screaming and Neil is swearing and yelling and Billy was like... crying and begging him to stop. Billy had to go to hospital and then we packed up and moved here. Never saw the friend again." She sighs. "Look, don't tell him I told you that; he'll be pissed. But just... whatever happened? If Billy's acting like this again, there's a reason."
She pats Steve on the arm and walks back over to the others, pushing Lucas out of the way so she can get to the game he's on.
When she walked away, he leaned back in the chair, staring straight ahead
for a long time before groaning and scrubbing a hand over his face.
At 5:25 he walked outside, spotting Billy's car. He stood there for a few
moments before walking over at Billy's car. He leaned against it, refusing
to actually look at Billy. "Give me a cigarette, Hargrove." He demanded,
looking out across the parking lot for a long time.
Max would be a few minutes late and he told Billy that. "She's doing
something for me. Checking on something. So don't you dare get pissed at
her." He said, foot bouncing a bit before he finally pushed himself to
speak again. "I found out what happened. In California."
He pushed his fingers through his hair as he took a few hits off the
cigarette hanging between his lips. "You don't have to worry about me. I'll
stay away." He shifted, rolling a shoulder. "Even if I think your shithead
dad needs to have his ass kicked. I'll just..." He made a sound, brows
furrowing before finally turning his head and looking at Billy, staring him
in the eyes.
"Bonfire night never happened. Everything is back to the way it was. So
just..you know. Stay away from me, Hargrove."
Billy doesn’t expect Steve and he’s too shocked to do anything but offer him a cigarette and the lighter when he demands it.
And then he’s telling him that he knows what happened in California and Billy feels his chest tighten in panic. Max said something because of course she did. She’s too fucking observant and she was there, she saw what happened and what it did to him when James had bailed on him and left him to face Neil’s wrath alone, to sit in that hospital for two days alone.
He can’t catch his breath, not in the face of the tears welled up in Steve’s eyes or the way he tells him to stay away and that that night never happened.
Tears spill over his own cheeks and he presses his head into the steering wheel.
“Okay.”
He could do that. He deserved this after all. “Okay. I’ll... stay away.”
He turned away, his jaw going painfully tight. He was staring straight
ahead as he took another couple drags off the cigarette before tossing it
down and stomping it out. There was so much more he wanted to say. He was
still angry. Still hurting.
Instead he just nodded. "Good." And then he walked away. He made a beeline
for his car, fighting back tears as he slid in and slammed the door shut.
The sound echoed through the parking lot as he started up and pealed out,
needing to be as far away from there as he possibly could be.
In the end, he didn't care if he'd made the right decision. And, well, he
stopped caring about pretty much everything else. It was like he was on
autopilot after that. He went to school, went to classes like normal. He
flirted, ignoring it when he felt eyes on him on the hall. Knowing Billy
was watching.
Robin ended up being a godsend and became his best friend almost instantly.
It helped because a lot of people assumed they were dating. Anyone who paid
attention would know they weren't, but it helped stop the rumors about why
he wasn't dating anyone anymore. He still didn't go to parties. He
didn't go anywhere other than with the kids and Robin.
Weeks go by and Steve and Billy don't say a word to one another. They make an effort to avoid each other in the hallways and when they drop their respective teen off to the arcade or the mall.
It's only three weeks after their exchange that Billy drops off the basketball team. He doesn't offer an explanation, no matter how many people asked. And if his anger issues increase, he doesn't acknowledge it.
And as per usual, Tommy H and Carol don't notice anything particularly different in him and they ignore the way he clenches his jaw any time they bring up Steve.
It's the end of the year and they''re having the standard Hawkins High post-grad bonfire and Billy?
Billy goes. He drinks before he gets there and he doesn't stop. He sits by himself with a cigarette dangles from his lips and a beer in his hand, watching Steve from a distance with an ache in his chest and a burning in his gut.
Steve ended up being dragged to the bonfire by Robin, groaning about how it
was a stupid tradition and why did he have to participate. Either way, she
made him go. And of course, he saw Billy and once again he can feel those
blue eyes watching him. He hated it, but there wasn't anything he could do.
So he drank and drank...and drank some more. He drank until he was barely
understandable before he pulled Robin off until they were alone.
Then he spilled everything. He told Robin about Billy, about how they
hadn't spoke since, everything. He was in tears, he was in pain.
Robin had left him leaned against a tree, half asleep after his confession
as she looked for Billy. When she found him, she closed the distance and
without a word she slapped him as hard as she could. Anger was evident on
her face, her eyes narrowing. She stood there for a second, eyeing the
people around them before hissing at him. "You're an asshole, Billy
Hargrove."
The slap comes out of nowhere and his drunken brain can't keep up with what's happening, so his immediate response is to freeze and make himself small.
And then he registers that it's Steve's friend, Rachel or something and she's cursing him out.
She shoved him, moving him away from his stupid asshole friends and backing
him up against a tree. "What did you do? Are you fucking kidding me? You
broke Steve." She snapped at him, finger poking against his bare chest.
"I've tried to get him out of this...whatever you want to call it but he
isn't interested. Not ever since whatever happened between you." She was
glaring him down, shaking her head.
"You fucked him up and used him!" Not that she knew the whole story. Steve
didn't even have all the details and he'd been far too drunk to tell her
anything about what he knew. "So I hope you're proud of yourself." She
trailed off for a moment, looking down. "He's gonna leave. He wants out of
here so bad. He thinks if he leaves it'll stop hurting and it's all your
fault!"
Billy's too drunk to stop her and he let's himself be shoved away from Tommy H and Carol, wincing when his back hits the tree. She pokes him in the chest and continues to tear into him and Billy feels the hurt swell until he's choking on it and the tears burn as they fill his eyes.
"You have no idea why I did what I did! I hurt him to keep him safe!" One tear rolls down his cheek as he stares her down. Billy flinches when she mentions that Steve wants to leave and he knows it's his fault and that just makes the hurt worse. "My old man... if he..." He growls in frustration, shoving a hand through his hair.
"Hurt him to keep him safe!? Are you fucking kidding me? I think you
hurt him to keep you safe!" She was still angry, still wanting to hurt him
and she leaned in close, her nose almost touching his as she went up on
tiptoe. "He loves you, ya know? He told me...he never loved anyone
before." She took a step back from him.
She shook her head, sighing. "And if you really did break his heart to keep
him safe? That wasn't your decision to make. Your choice. Steve deserves to
know the truth. Especially if he's going to leave everyone and everything
he knows just so he doesn't have to see you again. That's how much he
hurts, Billy. He would rather leave his life behind..."
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It was like he was just melting, loving being pushed back the way he was, kissed the way he was. Billy was making him a mess and he would beg for it even more if he had to.
He moaned, arching away from the door before grasping at him and trying to pull him even harder. "Bed. Fuck, bed now. Now please..."
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After, they lay beside each other, Billy's arm under Steve's neck and holding him close, nose pressed into his hair.
"Not bad, pretty boy."
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He shifted, turning more before just laying his head on Billy's chest with a chuckle. "Is that all you're ever gonna call me?" He asked playfully, looking more than sated as he looked up at the other teen.
He stretched up, pressing his lips against Billy's and sighing softly as he melted against him. After a few moments, he laid his head back down, perfectly content to stay like that.
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He chuckles softly before pressing a kiss against Steve's forehead before returning the kiss he offers. Billy is also content to stay like this, at least for now.
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Steve was so relaxed, body tired out and sore in all the right places. His arm curled around his waist, holding him close as his eyes started to slip shut. "M'tired." He murmured, yawning before getting comfortable.
"Just...stay the night. With me. Its gonna be Saturday. Just stay with me." He breathed, voice going quieter.
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But he knows that come morning, the illusion will be over and this will end.
But they can have it tonight.
"Okay."
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He smiled sleepily, tipping his head back so he could press his lips against Billy's. His head went back to the other boy's shoulder and within moments after that he was asleep.
He knew it couldn't last. Not really, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do what he could to let them have this as often as he could.
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He pretends it's just the water from the shower running down his face and not the tears he won't ever admit to shedding.
When he sees Steve later on, when he's there picking up Max, he pretends he hadn't seen him at all.
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Steve frowned when he woke up, hand pressing to the spot Billy had been the night before. He sighed, shaking his head before getting up for the day. He showered and ate, taking care of some errands before he went to the arcade to see the kids.
He was talking to Max when he spotted Billy and he smiled, waving at him as the girl ran to meet him. But...well.
Steve might not be the smartest, but he knew the difference between actually not being seen and being ignored. And fuck it hurts way more than it should.
And it stayed like that. For days, every time they were within eye sight of one another, Billy would pretend that Steve didn't exist. And every single time, Steve felt like an idiot for ever thinking it was more than just Billy getting a piece of ass.
In the end, he started avoiding Billy. If there was a party, he didn't go. If Max was out with the others and he was hanging out with them, he would find out what time she was supposed to be picked up and leave early.
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But in the quiet of his room or when he was in the shower, he remembered the expression on Neil's face the day he'd found him with that boy and he'd woken up in the hospital. They'd moved to Hawkins not long after.
He couldn't let it happen again.
When Max got out of the car, it was with a weird look as she raced into the arcade where Steve and the others were waiting.
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Steve looked up from the game he and Dustin were playing when Max came in and he frowned. He straightened up a bit, looking towards the door but he didn't see Billy following so he walked over to the younger girl.
"Max, hey. Whats wrong?" He asked, sitting down in front of her before pointing to the other chair. "Did something happen?"
He was on the verge of asking about Billy, but he stopped himself. The other boy didn't want to see him so there was no point asking about him.
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"Billy's just being his usual, weird self." She shrugs and turns her attention to the game as it starts up. "There's some kinda bug up his ass and he thinks he's being subtle but really he's just being dumb. Like I was gonna miss the way he got all weird as soon as he saw your car." She looks at Steve suspiciously.
"Did you two fight again? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
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He looked guilty for a moment before shaking his head. "No we didn't have a fight." He said, though he pointedly didn't answer whether he'd been hurt.
"Its no big. I promise." He rubbed her shoulder before he sighed and stood back up. "Just...best we don't see each other." He said, his voice going quiet, sounding reluctant to have to say it.
"What time is he supposed to be picking you up?" He asked, like he had asked every time lately, so he could leave before Billy ever got there.
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"He said he'd be here at 5:30." Just before dinner. He and Tommy H were catching up or something beforehand. Whatever, she hadn't really listened.
It's a good 45 minutes later that Max is able to corner Steve away from the others.
"Billy's been acting really weird and he's only ever done this once before. In California, just before we moved. And I know it has something to do with you. What did he do?"
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He nodded before leaving her alone. How she managed to end up cornering him, he would absolutely never know but he sighed, jaw tight as she started questioning him.
"Max just...Billy didn't do anything, okay?" He said softly, sitting down and scrubbing a hand over his face. "Wait, you said in California? What happened in California?" He asked, tilting his head as he looked at her.
"Did something bad happen?" He bit his lip, shifting a bit and glancing at the clock on the wall. It was still before 5:00 so he was alright. He just wanted to be out of there by 5:15.
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"Billy was friends with this guy and they were always together, it was weird but so is Billy so whatever. And they were hanging out in his room and the music was really loud and Neil came home and was really mad and so he went to tell Billy to turn his music off. I was in the kitchen helping Mum and the next thing, his friend takes off out of the house, screaming and Neil is swearing and yelling and Billy was like... crying and begging him to stop. Billy had to go to hospital and then we packed up and moved here. Never saw the friend again." She sighs. "Look, don't tell him I told you that; he'll be pissed. But just... whatever happened? If Billy's acting like this again, there's a reason."
She pats Steve on the arm and walks back over to the others, pushing Lucas out of the way so she can get to the game he's on.
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When she walked away, he leaned back in the chair, staring straight ahead for a long time before groaning and scrubbing a hand over his face.
At 5:25 he walked outside, spotting Billy's car. He stood there for a few moments before walking over at Billy's car. He leaned against it, refusing to actually look at Billy. "Give me a cigarette, Hargrove." He demanded, looking out across the parking lot for a long time.
Max would be a few minutes late and he told Billy that. "She's doing something for me. Checking on something. So don't you dare get pissed at her." He said, foot bouncing a bit before he finally pushed himself to speak again. "I found out what happened. In California."
He pushed his fingers through his hair as he took a few hits off the cigarette hanging between his lips. "You don't have to worry about me. I'll stay away." He shifted, rolling a shoulder. "Even if I think your shithead dad needs to have his ass kicked. I'll just..." He made a sound, brows furrowing before finally turning his head and looking at Billy, staring him in the eyes.
"Bonfire night never happened. Everything is back to the way it was. So just..you know. Stay away from me, Hargrove."
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And then he’s telling him that he knows what happened in California and Billy feels his chest tighten in panic. Max said something because of course she did. She’s too fucking observant and she was there, she saw what happened and what it did to him when James had bailed on him and left him to face Neil’s wrath alone, to sit in that hospital for two days alone.
He can’t catch his breath, not in the face of the tears welled up in Steve’s eyes or the way he tells him to stay away and that that night never happened.
Tears spill over his own cheeks and he presses his head into the steering wheel.
“Okay.”
He could do that. He deserved this after all. “Okay. I’ll... stay away.”
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He turned away, his jaw going painfully tight. He was staring straight ahead as he took another couple drags off the cigarette before tossing it down and stomping it out. There was so much more he wanted to say. He was still angry. Still hurting.
Instead he just nodded. "Good." And then he walked away. He made a beeline for his car, fighting back tears as he slid in and slammed the door shut. The sound echoed through the parking lot as he started up and pealed out, needing to be as far away from there as he possibly could be.
In the end, he didn't care if he'd made the right decision. And, well, he stopped caring about pretty much everything else. It was like he was on autopilot after that. He went to school, went to classes like normal. He flirted, ignoring it when he felt eyes on him on the hall. Knowing Billy was watching.
Robin ended up being a godsend and became his best friend almost instantly. It helped because a lot of people assumed they were dating. Anyone who paid attention would know they weren't, but it helped stop the rumors about why he wasn't dating anyone anymore. He still didn't go to parties. He didn't go anywhere other than with the kids and Robin.
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It's only three weeks after their exchange that Billy drops off the basketball team. He doesn't offer an explanation, no matter how many people asked. And if his anger issues increase, he doesn't acknowledge it.
And as per usual, Tommy H and Carol don't notice anything particularly different in him and they ignore the way he clenches his jaw any time they bring up Steve.
It's the end of the year and they''re having the standard Hawkins High post-grad bonfire and Billy?
Billy goes. He drinks before he gets there and he doesn't stop. He sits by himself with a cigarette dangles from his lips and a beer in his hand, watching Steve from a distance with an ache in his chest and a burning in his gut.
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Steve ended up being dragged to the bonfire by Robin, groaning about how it was a stupid tradition and why did he have to participate. Either way, she made him go. And of course, he saw Billy and once again he can feel those blue eyes watching him. He hated it, but there wasn't anything he could do. So he drank and drank...and drank some more. He drank until he was barely understandable before he pulled Robin off until they were alone.
Then he spilled everything. He told Robin about Billy, about how they hadn't spoke since, everything. He was in tears, he was in pain.
Robin had left him leaned against a tree, half asleep after his confession as she looked for Billy. When she found him, she closed the distance and without a word she slapped him as hard as she could. Anger was evident on her face, her eyes narrowing. She stood there for a second, eyeing the people around them before hissing at him. "You're an asshole, Billy Hargrove."
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And then he registers that it's Steve's friend, Rachel or something and she's cursing him out.
"What the fuck did I do this time?"
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She shoved him, moving him away from his stupid asshole friends and backing him up against a tree. "What did you do? Are you fucking kidding me? You broke Steve." She snapped at him, finger poking against his bare chest. "I've tried to get him out of this...whatever you want to call it but he isn't interested. Not ever since whatever happened between you." She was glaring him down, shaking her head.
"You fucked him up and used him!" Not that she knew the whole story. Steve didn't even have all the details and he'd been far too drunk to tell her anything about what he knew. "So I hope you're proud of yourself." She trailed off for a moment, looking down. "He's gonna leave. He wants out of here so bad. He thinks if he leaves it'll stop hurting and it's all your fault!"
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"You have no idea why I did what I did! I hurt him to keep him safe!" One tear rolls down his cheek as he stares her down. Billy flinches when she mentions that Steve wants to leave and he knows it's his fault and that just makes the hurt worse. "My old man... if he..." He growls in frustration, shoving a hand through his hair.
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"Hurt him to keep him safe!? Are you fucking kidding me? I think you hurt him to keep you safe!" She was still angry, still wanting to hurt him and she leaned in close, her nose almost touching his as she went up on tiptoe. "He loves you, ya know? He told me...he never loved anyone before." She took a step back from him.
She shook her head, sighing. "And if you really did break his heart to keep him safe? That wasn't your decision to make. Your choice. Steve deserves to know the truth. Especially if he's going to leave everyone and everything he knows just so he doesn't have to see you again. That's how much he hurts, Billy. He would rather leave his life behind..."
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