Steve loves him? This wasn't supposed to happen. Steve was supposed to move on and forget about Billy; he was supposed to find himself a nice girl and go to college and be happy. The hurt was supposed to be temporary and then he'd move on and be happy.
The more she attacks, the angrier Billy gets and at her last words, he explodes, pushing away from the tree and as much into her space as she's in his.
"The first time my old man caught me with a boy, he beat me half to death! Do you know what he'd do to Steve if he found out we slept together?! He'd kill the both of us! I won't put him in that position!"
Her eyes widened when he exploded, just staring at him as he went off
before her jaw fell, mouth hanging open. She swallowed, not sure what to
say for the longest time as she pushed her hair back away from her face.
"Billy, I..." She shook her head, biting her lip carefully. "I didn't know.
But...even still, it isn't your right to make that choice for him. If you
like him and you...you want to be with him, you should talk to him. Let the
choice be his."
Because she knew Steve, she knew how Steve felt about Billy and honestly,
she knew the other boy wouldn't give a damn about the risks. Thats just the
way he was. "You would want the opportunity to choose, wouldn't you? Or
would you rather Steve just push you away...because he was scared?"
Billy watches her expression shift as what he just said sinks in. The thing about abuse was that no one wanted to admit when it was happening and Billy had learned a long time ago to keep it to himself; partly because it wasn’t anyone else’s business but also because if Neil found out, he’d probably put Billy in the ground.
“It’s as much my choice as it is his!” Seriously? Committing to something with another boy put them both in danger and Billy copped it enough as it was without giving his old man more reason.
“What’s it to you anyway? What does it affect you if I don’t put myself in the way of a fist?”
Robin stood there for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before sighing
softly and pushing her fingers back through her hair. She understood where
he was coming from, but it sucked so bad seeing her best friend hurting so
much.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, taking a step backwards. "I'm just...seeing
Steve hurt. It hurts me too." She shook her head, looking down at the
ground, suddenly focused on a leaf stick in her shoe lace. "And he...he's
so sad all the time now. He tries to pretend its nothing. That its all
completely fine, but I know it isn't."
Now she wished she'd never confronted Billy, though she was still upset.
She wanted to help Steve, but now she wanted to help Billy too. Not that
she knew what to do for either of them.
At the mention of Steve being so sad, hurting because of Billy makes his chest hurt and he lets out a soft sigh. He gets it, he does. But Billy isn't the only one at risk from his dad if he finds out. Just because Neil has mostly only targeted his son and his ex-wife, doesn't mean he wouldn't lash out at the boy who's tongue was in his son's mouth.
She didn't say anything at first, instead turning her head to glance back
towards the bonfire. She was thinking about agreeing, telling him she
wouldn't say anything, but then she spotted Steve where he was. She almost
couldn't see him, slumped against a tree just staring blankly into the fire.
"I can't promise you that." She said softly, shaking her head. "Steve needs
to know what you went through, Billy. It'll help him understand at least."
She sighed.
"He thinks it was just...god. That he was just a piece of ass, basically.
But you actually do care about him."
Billy follows her gaze to where Steve is slumped against a tree and he feels his heart break a little bit more. But it doesn't change anything; it can't change anything. Steve being sad and Billy wanting to fix it, doesn't change that Neil would put them both in the ground if he knew.
She just gave him a look, standing there for just a moment longer before
she turned away. She wasn't going to agree to it. "You honestly want him to
believe you used him? Billy, you're an idiot."
Then she started walking back towards the bonfire, shaking her head the
whole way. After that she grabbed Steve, dragging him away from there and
to his car. She was going to take him home and let him sleep it off.
After that confrontation, Billy doesn't really feel like partying anymore. Instead, he snatches up another six pack that's been left unsupervised and storms off, slamming the car door and revving loudly before he speeds off.
He doesn't know where he's heading, but he knows it needs to be away from here.
And if he avoids Steve and Robin for three days afterwards.
His efforts all come to nothing when he literally bumps into Steve on his way out of the arcade from dropping Max off.
Steve immediately straightened up when he heard Billy's voice, staring at
him before taking a step back. "Sorry. Wasn't paying attention." He looked
like he'd seen better days honestly.
He shifted, moving to slip past Billy, but he stopped suddenly and locked
eyes with him. "Look...you should have just..." He started, huffing before
pushing his fingers through his hair in frustration. It moved the hair away
from his face and made it even more obvious how dark the circles under his
eyes were. "You should have told me."
Billy honestly doesn't look a whole lot better. There's the slightest hint of a bruise around his lip and he has his shirt done up -a rare sight, to be told- to hide the bruises on his ribs from where he'd stumbled into the nightstand when his dad had shoved his drunken ass in his anger.
He pales immediately at Steve's words, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him around the side of the building and away from listening ears and prying eyes.
Honestly, if it had been any other time, he likely wouldn't have let the
other pull him around the building, but he went this time and frowned.
"Don't you get mad at her for this. She shouldn't have had to." He said,
his jaw tightening as he looked at the other teen before shaking his head.
He turned to head back around the building, shoving his hands into his
pockets. "Doesn't change anything anyways. And if you're worried I'm gonna
say anything, you should know better." He started towards the corner.
It's the blase tone he uses that boils Billy's blood and he steps away to pace, hands going into his hair and shoving roughly through the tangled curls. He's frustrated, he hurts and he's just so damn...
"Scared! I was scared! Do you know what he would do to me if he found out? Where I would end up? Where you would end up?! He'd fucking kill me if I did this shit again! If he found out I was..." He stops to breathe and only then does he realise he's shaking so he shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. "Were you really gonna leave Hawkins because of me?"
He stopped, blinking before he turned slowly and looked at Billy. His brows
furrowed and he stepped back towards him. "He? He who?" As he sat there, it
was like it hit him and his eyes widened. He crowded in close to Billy,
backing him up against the wall. "Are you talking about your old man?" It
made sense after all. The way Max had mentioned the man.
He pushed his fingers through his hair, seeming to get angry before shaking
his head. "You may have beat my ass once, Hargrove, but don't think for a
second it means I can't protect myself. That isn't your place...and if that
was the situation...you still should have told me. I could have helped." He
rolled his shoulders, looking away and staring out towards the parking lot
at the question.
"It was because of...a lot of reasons...but yeah. Basically."
Steve crowds him and Billy flinches in the face of his anger and given the topic of conversation, it's no wonder that he can't hide it this time. Of course, he never usually allows anyone other than Neil to get this close.
"What was I supposed to say, huh? We had a good time but if my dad finds out I'm taking it up the ass again, he might actually put me in a fucking grave this time?" He doesn't mean the words to come out so harshly and he immediately deflates, the fight gone and he blinks against the tears, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It's not that I don't think you can hold your own. But my old man... He beat me into the ground and then some. We left California because people were asking questions and he was more concerned about people finding out his son was a filthy little faggot than he was of them finding out he almost killed me." He looks up and the smile on his face is bitter and there's still tears in his eyes. "The guy? Didn't even come visit me in hospital. He got away, left me to take the abuse. But you? You're too much of a fucking martyr and there's no way my dad wouldn't kill you."
He swallowed, just staring at Billy almost in horror before shaking his
head. He hesitated before reaching out and pulling the other teen close,
locking eyes with him. "I...jesus, Billy, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna let that
happen though." He whispered, shaking his head and looking dead serious.
"I mean it. He lays another fucking hand on you or even tries with me,
he'll be the one in a grave." He said, nudging him. He thought for a long
time then, looking at the parking lot again. "Come on. Go tell Max you're
coming to mine. She can ride with one of the others on their bikes over to
my house."
It's the first time Billy's ever put it into so many words, the first time he's truly admitted how afraid of his old man he is. He still had nightmares about that night, about how he'd laid there in a ball while his dad kicked him over and over and he'd honestly thought he was going to die.
He basically falls into Steve's hold but seems to remember they're out in public and jerks back just as quickly, nodding and scrubbing a hand over his face.
"Go tell her. Then you can follow me. Don't worry about anyone
noticing...you can park your car around the back. Can't see it from the
street there." He said, motioning for him to go inside to talk to Max. He'd
already made it to his car, waiting for the other to come back out.
As soon as Billy was out and in his car he pulled out, heading towards his
house. Once there, he pulled into his driveway before getting out and
running around the side of the house to point out the back driveway. He
smiled, closing the gate and leading the way back to the house.
It doesn't take Billy long to tell her and she only asks what's wrong once before she sees the expression on his face and stops asking, tugging Dustin away to kick his ass at Dig Dug before he pries too much as well.
He follows Steve back to his place and is grateful when he's able to park off the street. Billy feels out of place here, especially after what's transpired, so he stands awkwardly behind the other boy, hands stuffed in his pockets.
He pulled Billy inside, dragging him over to the couch before lightly
pushing him. "Sit. I'm gonna grab us a couple of beers." He said, turning
and heading towards the kitchen. He stopped then, glancing back over his
shoulder. "Does Max know he hits you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow before
pulling the fridge open and grabbing out two cans.
He turned then, heading back over and sitting down next to him. He shifted
a bit, tilting his head as he stared. "You need to tell Hopper."
Billy lets himself be guided and sits down heavily. With Steve's back to him, he runs his hands through his hair again and looks around anxiously, stifling the expression when the other boy comes back.
"Yeah. But I keep her out of it." Max isn't stupid, of course she knows. Billy just hopes she never has to experience it first hand.
His eyes immediately go wide in panic and he shakes his head, getting up to pace. "No. No, it doesn't leave this room."
He got up as well, grabbing Billy and pulling him back to the couch. "Sit
and listen." He said firmly, keeping ahold of his arm. "Look, I know you're
scared. I know you think that it might make things worse, but honestly
Billy. Think about it." He said, tilting his head and catching his eye.
"You've got...another year left. You graduate and you get the hell out of
here, right?" He asked, slowly raising an eyebrow. "And then what...because
all that leaves his Max. You keep her out of it now, but guys like
him? He isn't gonna stop with you. And with how much she likes to give an
attitude?"
He knows Steve's right; Neil had hit his mum, then him when she was gone. It made sense that he'd just move onto Max if he left.
But telling someone, even someone like Hopper, who all the kids seemed to trust. It was a risk and Billy wasn't sure it was one he could take. Not when he knew the price he'd have to pay if it failed. He wasn't kidding when he said his old man would kill him.
"I can't. I'll get her out when it comes to it, but I can't."
"Billy, yes you can." He said, moving closer and catching his hands. He
squeezed his hands, locking eyes with him. "Because the thing is, something
could happen to you. Neil could hurt you, put you in the hospital or...or
even worse." He said softly, looking down.
"Please, come on, Billy." He said, leaning in closer to him. "I just want
you to be safe and Hopper would be on your side. You and Max. El is his
daughter and I know he loves Max too. He would protect you...and so would
I."
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The more she attacks, the angrier Billy gets and at her last words, he explodes, pushing away from the tree and as much into her space as she's in his.
"The first time my old man caught me with a boy, he beat me half to death! Do you know what he'd do to Steve if he found out we slept together?! He'd kill the both of us! I won't put him in that position!"
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Her eyes widened when he exploded, just staring at him as he went off before her jaw fell, mouth hanging open. She swallowed, not sure what to say for the longest time as she pushed her hair back away from her face.
"Billy, I..." She shook her head, biting her lip carefully. "I didn't know. But...even still, it isn't your right to make that choice for him. If you like him and you...you want to be with him, you should talk to him. Let the choice be his."
Because she knew Steve, she knew how Steve felt about Billy and honestly, she knew the other boy wouldn't give a damn about the risks. Thats just the way he was. "You would want the opportunity to choose, wouldn't you? Or would you rather Steve just push you away...because he was scared?"
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“It’s as much my choice as it is his!” Seriously? Committing to something with another boy put them both in danger and Billy copped it enough as it was without giving his old man more reason.
“What’s it to you anyway? What does it affect you if I don’t put myself in the way of a fist?”
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Robin stood there for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before sighing softly and pushing her fingers back through her hair. She understood where he was coming from, but it sucked so bad seeing her best friend hurting so much.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, taking a step backwards. "I'm just...seeing Steve hurt. It hurts me too." She shook her head, looking down at the ground, suddenly focused on a leaf stick in her shoe lace. "And he...he's so sad all the time now. He tries to pretend its nothing. That its all completely fine, but I know it isn't."
Now she wished she'd never confronted Billy, though she was still upset. She wanted to help Steve, but now she wanted to help Billy too. Not that she knew what to do for either of them.
"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."
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"Don't say anything. To anyone."
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She didn't say anything at first, instead turning her head to glance back towards the bonfire. She was thinking about agreeing, telling him she wouldn't say anything, but then she spotted Steve where he was. She almost couldn't see him, slumped against a tree just staring blankly into the fire.
"I can't promise you that." She said softly, shaking her head. "Steve needs to know what you went through, Billy. It'll help him understand at least." She sighed.
"He thinks it was just...god. That he was just a piece of ass, basically. But you actually do care about him."
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"Don't. Say. Anything. It'll just end in pain."
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She just gave him a look, standing there for just a moment longer before she turned away. She wasn't going to agree to it. "You honestly want him to believe you used him? Billy, you're an idiot."
Then she started walking back towards the bonfire, shaking her head the whole way. After that she grabbed Steve, dragging him away from there and to his car. She was going to take him home and let him sleep it off.
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He doesn't know where he's heading, but he knows it needs to be away from here.
And if he avoids Steve and Robin for three days afterwards.
His efforts all come to nothing when he literally bumps into Steve on his way out of the arcade from dropping Max off.
"Uh... shit."
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Steve immediately straightened up when he heard Billy's voice, staring at him before taking a step back. "Sorry. Wasn't paying attention." He looked like he'd seen better days honestly.
He shifted, moving to slip past Billy, but he stopped suddenly and locked eyes with him. "Look...you should have just..." He started, huffing before pushing his fingers through his hair in frustration. It moved the hair away from his face and made it even more obvious how dark the circles under his eyes were. "You should have told me."
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He pales immediately at Steve's words, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket and dragging him around the side of the building and away from listening ears and prying eyes.
"She fucking told you."
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Honestly, if it had been any other time, he likely wouldn't have let the other pull him around the building, but he went this time and frowned. "Don't you get mad at her for this. She shouldn't have had to." He said, his jaw tightening as he looked at the other teen before shaking his head.
He turned to head back around the building, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Doesn't change anything anyways. And if you're worried I'm gonna say anything, you should know better." He started towards the corner.
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"Scared! I was scared! Do you know what he would do to me if he found out? Where I would end up? Where you would end up?! He'd fucking kill me if I did this shit again! If he found out I was..." He stops to breathe and only then does he realise he's shaking so he shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. "Were you really gonna leave Hawkins because of me?"
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He stopped, blinking before he turned slowly and looked at Billy. His brows furrowed and he stepped back towards him. "He? He who?" As he sat there, it was like it hit him and his eyes widened. He crowded in close to Billy, backing him up against the wall. "Are you talking about your old man?" It made sense after all. The way Max had mentioned the man.
He pushed his fingers through his hair, seeming to get angry before shaking his head. "You may have beat my ass once, Hargrove, but don't think for a second it means I can't protect myself. That isn't your place...and if that was the situation...you still should have told me. I could have helped." He rolled his shoulders, looking away and staring out towards the parking lot at the question.
"It was because of...a lot of reasons...but yeah. Basically."
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"What was I supposed to say, huh? We had a good time but if my dad finds out I'm taking it up the ass again, he might actually put me in a fucking grave this time?" He doesn't mean the words to come out so harshly and he immediately deflates, the fight gone and he blinks against the tears, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It's not that I don't think you can hold your own. But my old man... He beat me into the ground and then some. We left California because people were asking questions and he was more concerned about people finding out his son was a filthy little faggot than he was of them finding out he almost killed me." He looks up and the smile on his face is bitter and there's still tears in his eyes. "The guy? Didn't even come visit me in hospital. He got away, left me to take the abuse. But you? You're too much of a fucking martyr and there's no way my dad wouldn't kill you."
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He swallowed, just staring at Billy almost in horror before shaking his head. He hesitated before reaching out and pulling the other teen close, locking eyes with him. "I...jesus, Billy, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna let that happen though." He whispered, shaking his head and looking dead serious.
"I mean it. He lays another fucking hand on you or even tries with me, he'll be the one in a grave." He said, nudging him. He thought for a long time then, looking at the parking lot again. "Come on. Go tell Max you're coming to mine. She can ride with one of the others on their bikes over to my house."
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He basically falls into Steve's hold but seems to remember they're out in public and jerks back just as quickly, nodding and scrubbing a hand over his face.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay."
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"Go tell her. Then you can follow me. Don't worry about anyone noticing...you can park your car around the back. Can't see it from the street there." He said, motioning for him to go inside to talk to Max. He'd already made it to his car, waiting for the other to come back out.
As soon as Billy was out and in his car he pulled out, heading towards his house. Once there, he pulled into his driveway before getting out and running around the side of the house to point out the back driveway. He smiled, closing the gate and leading the way back to the house.
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He follows Steve back to his place and is grateful when he's able to park off the street. Billy feels out of place here, especially after what's transpired, so he stands awkwardly behind the other boy, hands stuffed in his pockets.
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He pulled Billy inside, dragging him over to the couch before lightly pushing him. "Sit. I'm gonna grab us a couple of beers." He said, turning and heading towards the kitchen. He stopped then, glancing back over his shoulder. "Does Max know he hits you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow before pulling the fridge open and grabbing out two cans.
He turned then, heading back over and sitting down next to him. He shifted a bit, tilting his head as he stared. "You need to tell Hopper."
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"Yeah. But I keep her out of it." Max isn't stupid, of course she knows. Billy just hopes she never has to experience it first hand.
His eyes immediately go wide in panic and he shakes his head, getting up to pace. "No. No, it doesn't leave this room."
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He got up as well, grabbing Billy and pulling him back to the couch. "Sit and listen." He said firmly, keeping ahold of his arm. "Look, I know you're scared. I know you think that it might make things worse, but honestly Billy. Think about it." He said, tilting his head and catching his eye.
"You've got...another year left. You graduate and you get the hell out of here, right?" He asked, slowly raising an eyebrow. "And then what...because all that leaves his Max. You keep her out of it now, but guys like him? He isn't gonna stop with you. And with how much she likes to give an attitude?"
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But telling someone, even someone like Hopper, who all the kids seemed to trust. It was a risk and Billy wasn't sure it was one he could take. Not when he knew the price he'd have to pay if it failed. He wasn't kidding when he said his old man would kill him.
"I can't. I'll get her out when it comes to it, but I can't."
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"Billy, yes you can." He said, moving closer and catching his hands. He squeezed his hands, locking eyes with him. "Because the thing is, something could happen to you. Neil could hurt you, put you in the hospital or...or even worse." He said softly, looking down.
"Please, come on, Billy." He said, leaning in closer to him. "I just want you to be safe and Hopper would be on your side. You and Max. El is his daughter and I know he loves Max too. He would protect you...and so would I."
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Literally. And as soon as he'd healed up enough, he'd been dragged out to this little town and been forced to start over.
"I can't, Steve."
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