Steve crowds him and Billy flinches in the face of his anger and given the topic of conversation, it's no wonder that he can't hide it this time. Of course, he never usually allows anyone other than Neil to get this close.
"What was I supposed to say, huh? We had a good time but if my dad finds out I'm taking it up the ass again, he might actually put me in a fucking grave this time?" He doesn't mean the words to come out so harshly and he immediately deflates, the fight gone and he blinks against the tears, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It's not that I don't think you can hold your own. But my old man... He beat me into the ground and then some. We left California because people were asking questions and he was more concerned about people finding out his son was a filthy little faggot than he was of them finding out he almost killed me." He looks up and the smile on his face is bitter and there's still tears in his eyes. "The guy? Didn't even come visit me in hospital. He got away, left me to take the abuse. But you? You're too much of a fucking martyr and there's no way my dad wouldn't kill you."
He swallowed, just staring at Billy almost in horror before shaking his
head. He hesitated before reaching out and pulling the other teen close,
locking eyes with him. "I...jesus, Billy, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna let that
happen though." He whispered, shaking his head and looking dead serious.
"I mean it. He lays another fucking hand on you or even tries with me,
he'll be the one in a grave." He said, nudging him. He thought for a long
time then, looking at the parking lot again. "Come on. Go tell Max you're
coming to mine. She can ride with one of the others on their bikes over to
my house."
It's the first time Billy's ever put it into so many words, the first time he's truly admitted how afraid of his old man he is. He still had nightmares about that night, about how he'd laid there in a ball while his dad kicked him over and over and he'd honestly thought he was going to die.
He basically falls into Steve's hold but seems to remember they're out in public and jerks back just as quickly, nodding and scrubbing a hand over his face.
"Go tell her. Then you can follow me. Don't worry about anyone
noticing...you can park your car around the back. Can't see it from the
street there." He said, motioning for him to go inside to talk to Max. He'd
already made it to his car, waiting for the other to come back out.
As soon as Billy was out and in his car he pulled out, heading towards his
house. Once there, he pulled into his driveway before getting out and
running around the side of the house to point out the back driveway. He
smiled, closing the gate and leading the way back to the house.
It doesn't take Billy long to tell her and she only asks what's wrong once before she sees the expression on his face and stops asking, tugging Dustin away to kick his ass at Dig Dug before he pries too much as well.
He follows Steve back to his place and is grateful when he's able to park off the street. Billy feels out of place here, especially after what's transpired, so he stands awkwardly behind the other boy, hands stuffed in his pockets.
He pulled Billy inside, dragging him over to the couch before lightly
pushing him. "Sit. I'm gonna grab us a couple of beers." He said, turning
and heading towards the kitchen. He stopped then, glancing back over his
shoulder. "Does Max know he hits you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow before
pulling the fridge open and grabbing out two cans.
He turned then, heading back over and sitting down next to him. He shifted
a bit, tilting his head as he stared. "You need to tell Hopper."
Billy lets himself be guided and sits down heavily. With Steve's back to him, he runs his hands through his hair again and looks around anxiously, stifling the expression when the other boy comes back.
"Yeah. But I keep her out of it." Max isn't stupid, of course she knows. Billy just hopes she never has to experience it first hand.
His eyes immediately go wide in panic and he shakes his head, getting up to pace. "No. No, it doesn't leave this room."
He got up as well, grabbing Billy and pulling him back to the couch. "Sit
and listen." He said firmly, keeping ahold of his arm. "Look, I know you're
scared. I know you think that it might make things worse, but honestly
Billy. Think about it." He said, tilting his head and catching his eye.
"You've got...another year left. You graduate and you get the hell out of
here, right?" He asked, slowly raising an eyebrow. "And then what...because
all that leaves his Max. You keep her out of it now, but guys like
him? He isn't gonna stop with you. And with how much she likes to give an
attitude?"
He knows Steve's right; Neil had hit his mum, then him when she was gone. It made sense that he'd just move onto Max if he left.
But telling someone, even someone like Hopper, who all the kids seemed to trust. It was a risk and Billy wasn't sure it was one he could take. Not when he knew the price he'd have to pay if it failed. He wasn't kidding when he said his old man would kill him.
"I can't. I'll get her out when it comes to it, but I can't."
"Billy, yes you can." He said, moving closer and catching his hands. He
squeezed his hands, locking eyes with him. "Because the thing is, something
could happen to you. Neil could hurt you, put you in the hospital or...or
even worse." He said softly, looking down.
"Please, come on, Billy." He said, leaning in closer to him. "I just want
you to be safe and Hopper would be on your side. You and Max. El is his
daughter and I know he loves Max too. He would protect you...and so would
I."
He sighed, letting go of his hands and leaning back. There was absolutely
nothing he could do them. Well, short of telling Hopper himself and then he
was fairly sure Billy would hate him. "Fine." He said, shifting and
grabbing his beer again.
He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to tell Billy he was being an
idiot. That someone like Neil would never stop and he would make sure Billy
couldn't get Max out. He would make sure Billy would likely never see Max
again, but he didn't think saying anything more would do absolutely any
good.
He just pushed his fingers through his hair, sitting quietly for a long
moment and knowing the other was looking at him. Finally he turned, leaning
in and pressing his lips against Billy's in a kiss that felt way more final
than he wanted it to be. "Maybe someday you'll trust someone else and let
others help."
Part of Billy is relieved that Steve let it go. But there's another part, the part that knows Neil will hurt Max as soon as he doesn't have his usual punching bag to take his anger out on, that wishes Steve would keep pushing.
Maybe it was the part that wanted reassurance that someone cared enough.
It's easy to kiss back but Billy feels like this might be the end. "I did, Steve. I did trust someone. And he left me to face my dad's wrath alone." He reaches up to cup a hand around Steve's cheek, brushing his thumb gently under his eye. "Fuck, you're beautiful."
"I'm not him. I wish I could prove that to you, but I swear I am not him."
He whispered quietly, leaning his face into the touch and sighing. After a
moment he pressed his hand over Billy's, trying to keep it there.
"Not as beautiful as you." He smiled sadly, pressing their foreheads
together. "Just..." He started, swallowing to try and hold back tears.
"You can always come here. Just know that at least." Even if he felt like
the other would never take him up on it. Ever.
Billy steals another kiss because he doesn't know what else to say, doesn't know how to say that he knows that but that he just can't get passed all the past hurt.
So instead, he just kisses the other boy, cupping his jaw to tilt him just so, deepening the kiss. He hurts, an ache in the pit of his stomach and he knows that he shouldn't be doing this, that he should get in his car and leave but he doesn't have the strength to do so.
He kissed back, pressing in as close as he could before he ended up
crawling into Billy's lap. He wanted this, he wanted the other boy so bad
and he would take what he could get. Especially if this really was the last
time ever.
His fingers slid into Billy's hair, tangling and giving a gentle tug before
kissing him again. This time it was deeper, more desperate even.
"Any time, Billy. I mean that." He whispered softly, pulling back enough to
stare into his eyes. He turned his head, looking at the clock before
looking back. "You've got like...2 hours before Max gets here...."
Billy slides both hands down Steve's back until he's gripping his ass, pulling him so they're flush together and he can kiss and mouth at Steve's neck and jaw. He's careful to make sure any marks he leaves on the other boy's skin will be hidden by his shirt collar.
"Oh yeah? Got any idea how we can kill time?" He licks over Steve's lips and smirks, pushing away the pain to allow himself to be distracted by the heat in his belly.
He made a sound at the feel of those hands on his ass. He rolled his hips
before kissing him yet again, licking into his mouth and sucking on his
tongue. He really didn't want to get up, but he pulled back anyways,
standing up and then slowly holding his hands out.
"Lets go upstairs." He whispered, ducking his head a bit. "No one is here.
No one'll be here for a while...so its just us." He bit his lip, smiling
through it and tilting his head.
Billy let's Steve lead him up the stairs to his room and he crowds him the whole time, chest pressed against Steve's back and hands on his hips. He nips and licks at the back of his neck as they go because he may as well enjoy this.
He moaned at each little nip and bit of attention that the other gave him.
Once at his bedroom door he just leaned back against Billy for a moment,
raising an eyebrow. "An idea? What kind of idea?" He asked, licking his
lips.
He turned his head, a smile stretching across his face. He wrapped his arm
around Billy's neck, craning his neck so he could press their lip together
in a searing kiss.
As soon as they reach Steve's room, Billy kicks the door closed and pushes the older boy back onto the bed, crawling over him and caging him in with a hand on either side of his head. He leans down to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.
"Yeah I reckon so." He said, holding him close as he laid back. His hands
settled on his hips, stroking before he pushed at his jeans. "Come on. I
want you to get naked." He stared up at him for a long moment, just slowly
stroking his hands up and down his sides and over his stomach and chest.
There was a moment where he paused, eyes sad even as he smiled. He pushed
himself up, catching his chin and kissing him once again.
Billy sits back just enough to pull his shirt over his head, throwing it off somewhere in Steve's room before he undoes the button and zip on his pants, giving Steve the option to push them down.
He leans into the kiss, sliding his hand into Steve's hair and sighing against the other boy's lips. Billy wishes they could stay like this forever, but he knows they can't.
He reached down, fingers hooking into his jeans before shoving them down
along with his underwear. He kept kissing him, over and over, just wanting
to make this last as long as he possibly could.
It took him a moment before he rolled them over, pushing Billy back against
the pillows. He settled between his legs, slowly pulling his jeans the rest
of the way off before tossing them over the edge of the bed.
He slid his hands up from Billy's hips, over his skin and grasping his
wrists before pushing them above his head.
Naked, Billy sprawls out beneath Steve in a way he knows shows everything off just right, hands flexing where they're pressed against the pillows but no effort being put in to fight against the hold.
And then Steve says those words and Billy feels the burn of tears. Not because he doesn't want to hear it, but because they make him feel safe and afraid and overwhelmed all at once and he knows -he know- that, if he let himself, he'd say it back.
Instead, he just kisses Steve, puts everything he can't say into the kiss and hopes the older teen gets it.
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"What was I supposed to say, huh? We had a good time but if my dad finds out I'm taking it up the ass again, he might actually put me in a fucking grave this time?" He doesn't mean the words to come out so harshly and he immediately deflates, the fight gone and he blinks against the tears, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It's not that I don't think you can hold your own. But my old man... He beat me into the ground and then some. We left California because people were asking questions and he was more concerned about people finding out his son was a filthy little faggot than he was of them finding out he almost killed me." He looks up and the smile on his face is bitter and there's still tears in his eyes. "The guy? Didn't even come visit me in hospital. He got away, left me to take the abuse. But you? You're too much of a fucking martyr and there's no way my dad wouldn't kill you."
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He swallowed, just staring at Billy almost in horror before shaking his head. He hesitated before reaching out and pulling the other teen close, locking eyes with him. "I...jesus, Billy, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna let that happen though." He whispered, shaking his head and looking dead serious.
"I mean it. He lays another fucking hand on you or even tries with me, he'll be the one in a grave." He said, nudging him. He thought for a long time then, looking at the parking lot again. "Come on. Go tell Max you're coming to mine. She can ride with one of the others on their bikes over to my house."
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He basically falls into Steve's hold but seems to remember they're out in public and jerks back just as quickly, nodding and scrubbing a hand over his face.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay."
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"Go tell her. Then you can follow me. Don't worry about anyone noticing...you can park your car around the back. Can't see it from the street there." He said, motioning for him to go inside to talk to Max. He'd already made it to his car, waiting for the other to come back out.
As soon as Billy was out and in his car he pulled out, heading towards his house. Once there, he pulled into his driveway before getting out and running around the side of the house to point out the back driveway. He smiled, closing the gate and leading the way back to the house.
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He follows Steve back to his place and is grateful when he's able to park off the street. Billy feels out of place here, especially after what's transpired, so he stands awkwardly behind the other boy, hands stuffed in his pockets.
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He pulled Billy inside, dragging him over to the couch before lightly pushing him. "Sit. I'm gonna grab us a couple of beers." He said, turning and heading towards the kitchen. He stopped then, glancing back over his shoulder. "Does Max know he hits you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow before pulling the fridge open and grabbing out two cans.
He turned then, heading back over and sitting down next to him. He shifted a bit, tilting his head as he stared. "You need to tell Hopper."
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"Yeah. But I keep her out of it." Max isn't stupid, of course she knows. Billy just hopes she never has to experience it first hand.
His eyes immediately go wide in panic and he shakes his head, getting up to pace. "No. No, it doesn't leave this room."
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He got up as well, grabbing Billy and pulling him back to the couch. "Sit and listen." He said firmly, keeping ahold of his arm. "Look, I know you're scared. I know you think that it might make things worse, but honestly Billy. Think about it." He said, tilting his head and catching his eye.
"You've got...another year left. You graduate and you get the hell out of here, right?" He asked, slowly raising an eyebrow. "And then what...because all that leaves his Max. You keep her out of it now, but guys like him? He isn't gonna stop with you. And with how much she likes to give an attitude?"
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But telling someone, even someone like Hopper, who all the kids seemed to trust. It was a risk and Billy wasn't sure it was one he could take. Not when he knew the price he'd have to pay if it failed. He wasn't kidding when he said his old man would kill him.
"I can't. I'll get her out when it comes to it, but I can't."
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"Billy, yes you can." He said, moving closer and catching his hands. He squeezed his hands, locking eyes with him. "Because the thing is, something could happen to you. Neil could hurt you, put you in the hospital or...or even worse." He said softly, looking down.
"Please, come on, Billy." He said, leaning in closer to him. "I just want you to be safe and Hopper would be on your side. You and Max. El is his daughter and I know he loves Max too. He would protect you...and so would I."
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Literally. And as soon as he'd healed up enough, he'd been dragged out to this little town and been forced to start over.
"I can't, Steve."
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He sighed, letting go of his hands and leaning back. There was absolutely nothing he could do them. Well, short of telling Hopper himself and then he was fairly sure Billy would hate him. "Fine." He said, shifting and grabbing his beer again.
He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to tell Billy he was being an idiot. That someone like Neil would never stop and he would make sure Billy couldn't get Max out. He would make sure Billy would likely never see Max again, but he didn't think saying anything more would do absolutely any good.
He just pushed his fingers through his hair, sitting quietly for a long moment and knowing the other was looking at him. Finally he turned, leaning in and pressing his lips against Billy's in a kiss that felt way more final than he wanted it to be. "Maybe someday you'll trust someone else and let others help."
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Maybe it was the part that wanted reassurance that someone cared enough.
It's easy to kiss back but Billy feels like this might be the end. "I did, Steve. I did trust someone. And he left me to face my dad's wrath alone." He reaches up to cup a hand around Steve's cheek, brushing his thumb gently under his eye. "Fuck, you're beautiful."
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"I'm not him. I wish I could prove that to you, but I swear I am not him." He whispered quietly, leaning his face into the touch and sighing. After a moment he pressed his hand over Billy's, trying to keep it there.
"Not as beautiful as you." He smiled sadly, pressing their foreheads together. "Just..." He started, swallowing to try and hold back tears.
"You can always come here. Just know that at least." Even if he felt like the other would never take him up on it. Ever.
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So instead, he just kisses the other boy, cupping his jaw to tilt him just so, deepening the kiss. He hurts, an ache in the pit of his stomach and he knows that he shouldn't be doing this, that he should get in his car and leave but he doesn't have the strength to do so.
"Thanks, Steve."
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He kissed back, pressing in as close as he could before he ended up crawling into Billy's lap. He wanted this, he wanted the other boy so bad and he would take what he could get. Especially if this really was the last time ever.
His fingers slid into Billy's hair, tangling and giving a gentle tug before kissing him again. This time it was deeper, more desperate even.
"Any time, Billy. I mean that." He whispered softly, pulling back enough to stare into his eyes. He turned his head, looking at the clock before looking back. "You've got like...2 hours before Max gets here...."
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"Oh yeah? Got any idea how we can kill time?" He licks over Steve's lips and smirks, pushing away the pain to allow himself to be distracted by the heat in his belly.
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He made a sound at the feel of those hands on his ass. He rolled his hips before kissing him yet again, licking into his mouth and sucking on his tongue. He really didn't want to get up, but he pulled back anyways, standing up and then slowly holding his hands out.
"Lets go upstairs." He whispered, ducking his head a bit. "No one is here. No one'll be here for a while...so its just us." He bit his lip, smiling through it and tilting his head.
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"Oh yeah? That gives me an idea."
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He moaned at each little nip and bit of attention that the other gave him. Once at his bedroom door he just leaned back against Billy for a moment, raising an eyebrow. "An idea? What kind of idea?" He asked, licking his lips.
He turned his head, a smile stretching across his face. He wrapped his arm around Billy's neck, craning his neck so he could press their lip together in a searing kiss.
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"I reckon you can figure it out."
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"Yeah I reckon so." He said, holding him close as he laid back. His hands settled on his hips, stroking before he pushed at his jeans. "Come on. I want you to get naked." He stared up at him for a long moment, just slowly stroking his hands up and down his sides and over his stomach and chest.
There was a moment where he paused, eyes sad even as he smiled. He pushed himself up, catching his chin and kissing him once again.
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He leans into the kiss, sliding his hand into Steve's hair and sighing against the other boy's lips. Billy wishes they could stay like this forever, but he knows they can't.
But he's going to enjoy it while he can.
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He reached down, fingers hooking into his jeans before shoving them down along with his underwear. He kept kissing him, over and over, just wanting to make this last as long as he possibly could.
It took him a moment before he rolled them over, pushing Billy back against the pillows. He settled between his legs, slowly pulling his jeans the rest of the way off before tossing them over the edge of the bed.
He slid his hands up from Billy's hips, over his skin and grasping his wrists before pushing them above his head.
"I love you." He whispered against his lips.
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And then Steve says those words and Billy feels the burn of tears. Not because he doesn't want to hear it, but because they make him feel safe and afraid and overwhelmed all at once and he knows -he know- that, if he let himself, he'd say it back.
Instead, he just kisses Steve, puts everything he can't say into the kiss and hopes the older teen gets it.
Gets I love you too as well.
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