Billy sighs softly at the kiss and holds onto the feeling as the meds start making him drowsy enough to fall asleep. He trusts that Eddie will stay with him, that he'll be here when Billy wakes up. Despite what Billy had done in order to keep Eddie safe from him, Eddie is still here and he knows they're good.
He has no idea how long he's asleep for but the room isn't as bright when he wakes up, dragging his eyes open and glancing around without moving his head in order to find Eddie.
Eddie keeps an eye on Billy as the meds and exhaustion take hold. He lets out a sigh of relief once he's asleep, stands to stretch his legs and pace about the room. He spends time looking at the machines that whirl and hum, as though he can somehow reason out what they all mean. Eventually, Eddie dims the lights in the room and settles back into the chair at Billy's bedside. With another sigh, he tucks his legs up and tries to get a bit of sleep himself.
It's restless and uneasy, but he manages to snatch a handful of hours. At the sound of Billy's voice he stirs, rubbing at his eyes as he blinks sleep from his eyes.
"Hey, baby," He says sleepily, reaching to brush his fingers through Billy's hair. "How're you feeling?"
Eddie’s still there when Billy wakes up, just like he said he would be and he sighs softly when he feels the soft hand in his hair, carefully pushing his head into the contact. He aches but he doesn’t hurt the same way he did when he woke up before. He knows it won’t be long until the pain comes raging back in but he’s grateful for the reprieve for now.
“I feel okay. For now.” He’s not looking forward to when the pain returns. “More drugs? Before it gets bad again.”
"Yeah, of course, um..." Eddie looks around, wants to avoid calling in a nurse if he doesn't have to. He stands, taking a moment to stretch away the knots that have formed in his back. Then he examines the line of morphine that had been run into Billy earlier. He finds what he's looking for nestled in the crevice of the hospital bed, a small grey device connected to the drip. He pushes the center button, hears a soft hiss and watches as medication drips down the line and ultimately, into Billy.
"That should do the trick," He says as he settles back into his chair, reaching to take hold of Billy's hand. "Do you need anything else? Hungry or anything?"
Billy feels the hit of the morphine immediately and it takes the edge off, allowing him to relax enough and turn his head towards his partner with a soft smile. Fuck, he’s so grateful that Eddie’s there, unsure if he could stand to be alone at the moment and not really wanting anyone else around.
“Something to drink? Please.” He sighs again. “My throat is fucked.”
"Of course," He's quick to get back on his feet, pleased to have something to do. With everything that's happened, with how bad a shape Billy's in, he's happy to be able to be useful in any way, however small. There's a cafeteria somewhere around here, but he doesn't want to leave the room, and thinks water is probably their best bet right now anyway. Eddie snatches a plastic cup from the counter, runs the sink until the water feels cold enough and fills it.
"Here we go." Eddie's back at Billy's side, slips a hand beneath his shoulders to ease him up just enough that he won't choke. Then he brings the cup to Billy's lips, tilts it just enough that he can drink.
Billy watches as Eddie flits around the room with the air of someone desperate and stressed. He wishes he could do something to ease it but he’s beyond fucked at this point. His body is wrecked; he doesn’t know how badly but he remembers enough to know that it’s bad.
Even sitting up this small amount is almost too much and he drinks quickly so he can lay back down and catch his breath. “Tell me the truth, Eds. How fucked am I?” His voice still sounds awful, throat completely fucked from all he did to himself while under his control. “How bad did he fuck me up?”
Eddie keeps him steady until he's finished, moves his hand so Billy can fall back against the bed. He sets the cup down on the bedside table, still feeling alight with nervous energy. The question somehow takes him by surprise, despite the fact that he should have expected it sooner or later. His gaze drifts over Billy, over the various machines he's hooked up to, all of which are presumably keeping him alive.
"It's... well, it's pretty bad, I think." He wishes he had more information, a better answer. Billy almost seems more machine than man at the moment, but ultimately, Eddie doesn't care. "You're alive, that's all that matters." He's smiling as he says it, reaches to cup Billy's cheek in his hand. Anything would be fine by him, as long as Billy was alive. "And you've still got your pretty face."
He hates this, putting it on Eddie like this to be the bearer of bad news but no one else has told him and there’s no one else here to ask. He doesn’t even know what Eddie’s been told about it all, about what actually happened. He vaguely remembers telling him some things but he’s not sure how much of it Eddie got. “I mean it, Eddie. How bad is it?
"Okay, okay," Eddie relents with a sigh. He takes a moment, tries to piece together what he's heard and seen and compile it into something coherent. Even if he had all the information, he's not sure he could deliver it. It makes something tremble inside him, to have to force himself into the reality of Billy's condition.
"There's, uh, well, the big things..." He trails off again, worries his lower lip between his teeth. Billy's alive, that's what matters, he reminds himself. The rest can sort itself out, one way or another. "They're doing something with your blood." Eddie nods his head towards the dialysis machine that still whirs away.
"And then there's whatever this is." Eddie pulls back the sheets to reveal the bandages wound around Billy's abdomen. It could be anything, he thinks, he has no idea just what is beneath them. All he knows is it can't be good, seems more than what's necessary if it were only surface wounds.
“With my blood?” Billy looks to the side and studies the machine for a moment. Whatever is coming out of him is thick and viscous and black. He’s fairly certain the chemicals didn’t do that to him so it must be residual monster something. And then he looks down at his chest and it seems so…
Clean. In comparison to what he remembers happening, it just looks so innocuous. There’s clearly more going on underneath the stark, white bandages. “I remember what happened. I remember how much it hurt.
There are still so many questions, things he wants to ask but pushes as far down as he can manage. Eddie tells himself that he'll be able to get those answers sometime soon, once Billy is no longer laid up in a hospital bed and relying on a morphine drip to get through the passing hours. But it burns up some part of him, the fact that he's been left out of the loop.
"I'm just glad you are alive," Though his voice trembles as he says it. The only thing worse than being left in the dark is Billy not being here. Given everything that's currently working to keep him alive, Eddie has a sinking feeling that it could have easily gone the other way. That thought alone is enough to have Eddie lifting out of his seat, leaning over so he can kiss Billy, slow and careful as he tries to suppress the desperation that simmers beneath.
"We'll figure out the rest. But you're alive, thank fuck. You're alive."
Billy feels his eyes start to burn with tears once more and he wishes he could lift his arms to wrap around Eddie and hold him close but he’s so strapped into everything and it hurts to even try and move any part of his body. He’s a mess and he feels hopeless but Eddie makes him grateful to be alive. The idea of leaving him behind hurts more than he even realised it would.
“I’m still here. I’m a fucking mess but I’m here.”
"I'll take still here and a fucking mess over not being here, any day." Eddie tries to muster up a laugh, a smile, anything, as he says it. He wants to be reassuring, to give the air of knowing things will be alright. It doesn't matter in what condition, Eddie can only feel grateful that Billy is here. The thought of anything otherwise-- it's too much, it burns something up deep within him, almost makes him cry from the thought alone. Eddie wishes he could crawl into the bed alongside him, but is too worried about disrupting the various support lines that run in and out of Billy.
"You'll be back on your feet before you know it." He doesn't know that for a fact, but believes it all the same. "And I'll be with you every step of the way, okay? So don't even worry."
“I dunno about back on my feet, Eds.” But with Eddie here and the knowledge that Max and that other girl -Elle, his mind tried to say- were okay then it was a little easier to believe things would be okay. He knows that soon he’s going to need someone to come and tell him exactly what the fuck had happened to his body and how they’ve put him back together but for right now, he’s content to wriggle his fingers for Eddie’s hand and just sit here with his… he doesn’t know what they are and that’s okay because he’s here.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I just… he’d have made me hurt you and I couldn’t do that. Not to you.” He didn’t want to do it to anyone and he’d never forgive himself for not being stronger but if he’d handed Eddie over, lead him to his death, he’d probably just disconnect all this shit and hope they didn’t bother saving him again.
"No more apologizing," Eddie says gently, squeezing Billy's hand in his. There may be things Billy should be apologizing for, keeping Eddie in the dark about whatever is happening, but now is not the time for that. He thinks he might be able to put the bigger picture together if any of the others start filtering in, but for the moment, he doesn't want to worry about any of that.
"I... all I care about is that you're alive. We can figure everything else out later." He leans out of his chair, kisses Billy slow and careful. Eddie is mindful of all the machines, the tubes, the wires, doesn't want to set something off by mistake, but he also wants this.
Billy isn't keeping Eddie in the dark on purpose, he just genuinely doesn't know how to explain what happened to him or what that thing actually was. Something tells him that Maxine and her little friends know a lot more about it; between the sauna, the girl getting into his mind and knowing all about his mum and what had actually gone down at Starcourt, they were probably a better source to ask.
"Yeah?" Fuck, what had he done to deserve Eddie? "Harrington, Wheeler and those brats. They know. They know what happened."
"I'll talk to them later, get it all figured out." He thinks there are a lot of pieces that still need to come together, isn't even sure he'll understand it once he's spoken to them. There's something about it all that just feels-- fantastical, impossible. Stories come to life. Despite the fact that Eddie has always loved fantasy, it seems so difficult to wrap his head around it now.
"For now... I just care about you getting better." Even if he doesn't know what that looks like, what that means for Billy. "That's all you should be worried about too."
He's not really sure he will get better, not completely. Not with how deeply that thing had gotten into his brain and what it'd made him do to the people of Hawkins. It had cost so many lives and he didn't know how he was supposed to come back from that.
But he doesn't say that, doesn't want Eddie to look at him the way he should when he knows what Billy had done. He doesn't say anything, just squeezes Eddie's fingers again and sighs softly. "You gonna stay here with me? Nurse me back to health?
Eddie laughs, and for the first time since stepping into the hospital it feels light and free. There's nothing right now that should make him feel this way, like everything could be alright if they just will it to be so. But that doesn't stop him from feeling briefly carefree and boyish, grinning down at Billy as though he isn't hooked up to a litany of machines tasked to keeping him alive.
"If that's what it takes," He's grinning as he hunches over the hospital bed, presses a line of kisses that start at Billy's temple and follow the line of his jaw. They're not really alone, but in the waning hours of the night, with nurses more worried about when they'll get off shift, it feels like they might be.
"I don't mind coming back in a sexy little slip," Eddie lets himself fall back into his seat. There's still a lot they have to figure out, still a long road ahead for Billy's recovery, but he lets himself have this moment. "The other nurses might catch on though, when there's suddenly some hot young thing among their ranks."
Billy sighs softly at each little kiss and feels a smile come to his lips. It doesn't last long, he's too tired for that but it was there and it was real. He's not worried they'll get caught, which, again is more to do with his lack of energy than anything else.
"Yeah? You'd do that just for me?" He smiles again, a soft noise escaping his nose that would probably be a laugh if he didn't have a whole in chest that hurts even with the meds if he moves too much. "You saying I don't have a single, hot nurse out there? Damn, means you're gonna need to take the role."
"I'd do anything for you," Eddie admits with a breathy laugh. It's easy enough to let it be dismissed as something silly he's saying to help lighten the mood. But as soon as the words come out he realizes that they're true, that he means them in every iteration. It's awful, he thinks, that it took Billy nearly dying for him to realize that. An abrupt, awkward sort of laugh shakes out of him, and Eddie tries to ignore the fact that he feels like crying. No tears right now.
"I guess there were a couple that weren't too bad." Not that Eddie had been paying much attention when he had practically sprinted through the halls. It's easier though, to let their conversation drift away to something more lighthearted. "I'll keep an eye out for any that might look good in a tight dress. Until then, you've just got me."
"Yeah? Anything?" That sounds really fucking good and Billy will blame any tears that Eddie sees on being high off his ass on pain killers. When they'd started this thing, it had been purely a way of getting a release. They'd get high and fuck and then go back to their normal lives until the next time. Then they'd started spending time without it being just about drugs and sex.
And now Eddie was promising to do anything for him and Billy? Billy felt like if he wasn't before, he was pretty much in love with this fucking nerd.
"Gonna make sure I get the cute nurses?" He smiles softly. "You'd still be the hottest nurse here, Munson."
"Anything and everything," Eddie answers in a soft, lovestruck sort of way. His fingers brush over Billy's face, catch the tears against his fingertips and brushes them away. At one point, this was all supposed to be about sex, but Eddie can finally admit that it's grown into more than that. It only took Billy nearly dying from him to realize that fact. It was never meant to be like this, but Eddie should have known better. Now his heart only thrums in a pattern that spells out Billy Hargrove.
"Only the hottest nurses for you," Eddie smiles in a way that is almost pathetic, completely lovestruck. "Myself being the cream of the crop." He steals one more kiss before settling back in his chair. "I think sexy nurses will speed up your recovery."
"You're a fucking sap." It's said with affection and a soft smile and Billy feels as lovestruck as Eddie sounds and holy shit, he really is in love with this idiot and he's so ridiculously glad that he's here and this time the tears fall unbidden. Of course it would take him almost dying to realise how much he wants to be here, with the metalhead, dnd playing dork.
"Don't even need 'em." Billy smiles into the kiss and relaxes into the bed as soon Eddie sits down. "Just you."
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He has no idea how long he's asleep for but the room isn't as bright when he wakes up, dragging his eyes open and glancing around without moving his head in order to find Eddie.
"Eds?"
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It's restless and uneasy, but he manages to snatch a handful of hours. At the sound of Billy's voice he stirs, rubbing at his eyes as he blinks sleep from his eyes.
"Hey, baby," He says sleepily, reaching to brush his fingers through Billy's hair. "How're you feeling?"
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“I feel okay. For now.” He’s not looking forward to when the pain returns. “More drugs? Before it gets bad again.”
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"That should do the trick," He says as he settles back into his chair, reaching to take hold of Billy's hand. "Do you need anything else? Hungry or anything?"
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“Something to drink? Please.” He sighs again. “My throat is fucked.”
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"Here we go." Eddie's back at Billy's side, slips a hand beneath his shoulders to ease him up just enough that he won't choke. Then he brings the cup to Billy's lips, tilts it just enough that he can drink.
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Even sitting up this small amount is almost too much and he drinks quickly so he can lay back down and catch his breath. “Tell me the truth, Eds. How fucked am I?” His voice still sounds awful, throat completely fucked from all he did to himself while under his control. “How bad did he fuck me up?”
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"It's... well, it's pretty bad, I think." He wishes he had more information, a better answer. Billy almost seems more machine than man at the moment, but ultimately, Eddie doesn't care. "You're alive, that's all that matters." He's smiling as he says it, reaches to cup Billy's cheek in his hand. Anything would be fine by him, as long as Billy was alive. "And you've still got your pretty face."
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“How badly did it get me?”
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"There's, uh, well, the big things..." He trails off again, worries his lower lip between his teeth. Billy's alive, that's what matters, he reminds himself. The rest can sort itself out, one way or another. "They're doing something with your blood." Eddie nods his head towards the dialysis machine that still whirs away.
"And then there's whatever this is." Eddie pulls back the sheets to reveal the bandages wound around Billy's abdomen. It could be anything, he thinks, he has no idea just what is beneath them. All he knows is it can't be good, seems more than what's necessary if it were only surface wounds.
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Clean. In comparison to what he remembers happening, it just looks so innocuous. There’s clearly more going on underneath the stark, white bandages. “I remember what happened. I remember how much it hurt.
“I don’t even know how I’m still alive.”
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"I'm just glad you are alive," Though his voice trembles as he says it. The only thing worse than being left in the dark is Billy not being here. Given everything that's currently working to keep him alive, Eddie has a sinking feeling that it could have easily gone the other way. That thought alone is enough to have Eddie lifting out of his seat, leaning over so he can kiss Billy, slow and careful as he tries to suppress the desperation that simmers beneath.
"We'll figure out the rest. But you're alive, thank fuck. You're alive."
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“I’m still here. I’m a fucking mess but I’m here.”
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"You'll be back on your feet before you know it." He doesn't know that for a fact, but believes it all the same. "And I'll be with you every step of the way, okay? So don't even worry."
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“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I just… he’d have made me hurt you and I couldn’t do that. Not to you.” He didn’t want to do it to anyone and he’d never forgive himself for not being stronger but if he’d handed Eddie over, lead him to his death, he’d probably just disconnect all this shit and hope they didn’t bother saving him again.
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"I... all I care about is that you're alive. We can figure everything else out later." He leans out of his chair, kisses Billy slow and careful. Eddie is mindful of all the machines, the tubes, the wires, doesn't want to set something off by mistake, but he also wants this.
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"Yeah?" Fuck, what had he done to deserve Eddie? "Harrington, Wheeler and those brats. They know. They know what happened."
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"For now... I just care about you getting better." Even if he doesn't know what that looks like, what that means for Billy. "That's all you should be worried about too."
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But he doesn't say that, doesn't want Eddie to look at him the way he should when he knows what Billy had done. He doesn't say anything, just squeezes Eddie's fingers again and sighs softly. "You gonna stay here with me? Nurse me back to health?
"I could see you in a sexy nurse outfit."
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"If that's what it takes," He's grinning as he hunches over the hospital bed, presses a line of kisses that start at Billy's temple and follow the line of his jaw. They're not really alone, but in the waning hours of the night, with nurses more worried about when they'll get off shift, it feels like they might be.
"I don't mind coming back in a sexy little slip," Eddie lets himself fall back into his seat. There's still a lot they have to figure out, still a long road ahead for Billy's recovery, but he lets himself have this moment. "The other nurses might catch on though, when there's suddenly some hot young thing among their ranks."
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"Yeah? You'd do that just for me?" He smiles again, a soft noise escaping his nose that would probably be a laugh if he didn't have a whole in chest that hurts even with the meds if he moves too much. "You saying I don't have a single, hot nurse out there? Damn, means you're gonna need to take the role."
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"I guess there were a couple that weren't too bad." Not that Eddie had been paying much attention when he had practically sprinted through the halls. It's easier though, to let their conversation drift away to something more lighthearted. "I'll keep an eye out for any that might look good in a tight dress. Until then, you've just got me."
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And now Eddie was promising to do anything for him and Billy? Billy felt like if he wasn't before, he was pretty much in love with this fucking nerd.
"Gonna make sure I get the cute nurses?" He smiles softly. "You'd still be the hottest nurse here, Munson."
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"Only the hottest nurses for you," Eddie smiles in a way that is almost pathetic, completely lovestruck. "Myself being the cream of the crop." He steals one more kiss before settling back in his chair. "I think sexy nurses will speed up your recovery."
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"Don't even need 'em." Billy smiles into the kiss and relaxes into the bed as soon Eddie sits down. "Just you."
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