To say Billy was disappointed by the words was an understatement but he also wasn't surprised bu them either. However, his only response is to roll his eyes at the older man and huff a sigh.
"Because you're immortal?" It didn't matter that Marcus had fucked the thoughts out of his head last night, he still remembered Marcus' offhanded comment about it the night before.
Marcus sighed at the little shit's persistent view. There really was no
shaking him off. Maybe it was the early morning after a really good night,
or that he was still comfortable in bed, or he was too old to really care
about this, but instead of denying it again, he just raised an eyebrow.
"You're going to die eventually..." Billy wasn't likely going to spill this
to someone else, not with his own secrets to keep. So there was no point in
keeping dancing around on it. "So what if it was?"
"I already have. It didn't stick." It's a way of making light out of the comment because it's all the confirmation that Billy needs that Marcus' teasing words had been a cover for the truth he didn't want to talk about. His truth was safe with Billy.
"So what, you're just supposed to spend your incredibly long life alone?"
It probably didn't take a mind reader to guess this was probably a sore
topic for Marcus from the way his face closed down, or went more impassive
than normal. "It'll happen regardless," he said, letting out some of his
bottled nihilism when prompted. "So yeah... That's the way it goes."
He sat up in the bed as well, the covers sliding down to his waist as he
did so. His stab wound was well on its way healed although not yet
completely, another sign of his unnatural abilities. "That's why we
shouldn't do this again."
Billy sits up too, deposits himself in Marcus' lap with a knee on either side of his thighs and he slides his arms over his shoulders, fingers scratching over his scalp. It wouldn't be the first time Billy took a risk; at least now he was durable enough that it wouldn't kill him if Marcus lashed out.
"Or we can because it was fun and we both enjoyed ourselves and unless you're about to take off now, we're going to be working together for a while and why not indulge?" He offers a soft smile. "I really like you, Marcus."
Marcus didn't like being cornered, but he wasn't about to push the young
man off either. Especially not with the light touch of fingers in his hair,
feeling more intimate than all the fucking they did last night.
Because it'll end, was what he didn't say, looking slightly pained
in his gaze. The problem, the precise problem, was he liked Billy too, and
his fondness would turn into something greater if he didn't pull back now.
"Just indulge?" he asked instead. "Just carnal pleasures until one of us
leaves the job?" It wouldn't work, but he almost wanted it to if just so he
could linger longer.
"Could be more. If you wanted it to be." Billy knew, deep down in that place within him that knew the true faces of all the issues and hurts he harboured that if Marcus turned him away now, he'd be handing in his resignation first thing Monday. He knew there was no way he'd be able to face him every day after exposing himself for all that he was -a monster, a murderer- and be able to cope with the rejection.
But he doesn't say that, doesn't want Marcus to make a choice based on that. So he combs his fingers through Marcus' hair gently and he waits.
That willingness to go forward made Marcus hesitate. "I'm not relationship
material..." Except Billy was looking at him with earnest patience, waiting
gently with his hands continuing to run through his hair like he had all
the time in his incredibly short mortal life.
"Hargrove... Billy... I can't get close when I know you'll eventually
leave..." He wanted to though. He didn't care what Billy had done or what a
monster he thought himself was, all that didn't matter to Marcus. What did
was Billy was here and was reaching out, and Marcus had been alone for long
enough that he was almost willing to try again even though he knew it would
end in only tragedy.
"So you'll hurt us both now instead and keep on being alone?" Of course, Billy had no idea what it was like to live forever and there was no possible way to relate to that choice but he couldn't understand how it was better to be alone.
"Is that really better? You have all the lifetimes to live, why spend them all miserable?"
"Because..." It hurts too much to watch someone he get close to eventually
pass away to that oblivion and leave him. He spent centuries convincing
himself that it was better to not have, and hence not miss what he did not
have.
But it wasn't easier, and the loneliness had been eating at him for so long
that he wasn't sure if it was really 'better' anymore. "There's no way this
could work... I mean... You would not care what people think about us being
guys in this current era? Among other things. And I'm much older
than you."
Billy leans closer, pressing his lips against Marcus' in a soft kiss, scratching the back of his scalp gently. When he sits back, he rests his forehead against the older man's and sighs.
"Then we leave this shitty little town, find somewhere that there's less judgement. Although, I did survive an attack by the Russians and save a bunch of kids, so I get a little bit of leeway.
"And as for your age? So? You barely look older than 35."
When was the last time someone kissed Marcus that way, or Marcus allowed
someone close enough to? That seemed to be the last chip needed to crack
through his defenses, and he leaned his forehead back against Billy's,
shoulders slumping a little. "If you don't mind it, then I don't," Marcus
decided.
He didn't care what people thought and had brought it up originally only
because he was still hesitating. Once he made his decision though, the
views of the world didn't matter. "We can stay if you'd rather not uproot
what you have here."
Those words bring a smile to Billy's face an his immediate response it to press that smile back against Marcus' lips. "I really don't mind it." It really didn't bother Billy at all how old Marcus was, but he was curious.
"I don't have a lot here. Max is away at college and so... it's just you." He smiles. "I miss the beach."
Seeing how uplifted his simple agreement made Billy was enough to have
Marcus crack a slight smile back. "We can look for somewhere quiet with a
nice stretch of sand," he suggested. For once it would be a simple move and
he wouldn't have to go through his contacts to reinvent himself yet. But if
they were to try this together, perhaps quiet might not be the best option.
"Or a coastal city."
Clearly he had no attachments here, or anywhere for that matter. Just
places he shouldn't be to avoid being recognized.
"Yeah? Somewhere warm." Billy keeps up the gentle scratches, body relaxing further into Marcus' lap now that he's sure he's not going to be turned away. He's warm and comfortable and he could easily stay here forever.
"Are there rules we have to follow? Y'know, because you're an immortal?"
The question made Marcus raise a brow at his work partner. "Rules? I'm
still human, Hargrove, just a really long lived one. I don't need to stay
out of the sun or howl at a full moon," he said sarcastically, although he
was incredibly relaxed under the soft way Billy kept kneading into the back
of his head. Marcus leaned into those touches like he hungered for more
even while he rested his own hands on Billy's hips to keep him in place on
his lap.
"I just need to avoid mixing up with my previous identities to avoid
awkward situations." Or keep secret the fact that he was still running a
criminal organization from afar. But very human problems.
Tugging gently on a small piece of hair at the sarcastic response, Billy snorts and shakes his head. "You know what I meant, shithead." Encouraged by Marcus' response, Billy traces his fingers over his shoulders and across his arms as well. He'd almost be willing to ride his dick if he wasn't certain he'd be bed bound for the rest of the day.
Marcus released a disgruntled grunt when his hair was pulled, but it was
quickly soothed over when Billy started running his hands over him instead.
It made up for it enough that he forgave him for the rough treatment. "I
wasn't near any of the coasts for the last while. So if you want beaches..."
Marcus' thumbs drew circles on Billy's hip bones, light soft touches over
the forming mild bruises where he might have held Billy a bit too tightly
during their events last night. "You can choose the location."
Billy chuckled again and then stole another kiss. And another one because he could. His fingers slide over the bandage on Marcus' shoulder and he traces around the edge of it, wondering if it still hurts.
"We can," Marcus confirmed, his expression softening with each kiss until
he leaned forward and took one back from Billy. Noticing the fingers on his
shoulder, he said softly, "You can take that off. It should be closed by
now."
It wouldn't be hard to relocate to the sunny state, and it wasn't somewhere
he settled before. "Where in California were you from?" Regardless,
relocating would take a while, and it might be a good idea for them to get
used to the idea of them being a pair before making such a big step. Marcus
was ready to jump in with both feet once decided, but he couldn't say the
same on Billy's behalf.
Billy's whole face lights up when he's told he can go back to California, as if Marcus has just given him the best gift of his life. He's careful when he peels the bandage from Marcus' back and, sure enough, the injury is closed over. His touch is gentle over the skin that had been torn open the day before. "That's amazing.
"I don't think I'd want to go to the same area; too many bad memories. But somewhere near the beach." It's probably rushed and there's no way of even knowing if they're going to last but there's no harm in putting it out there now. Even if it does just assure Marcus that Billy is really in for this.
Marcus' shoulder where the injury was remained scabbed and puckered in the
circular scarring matching the bottle stabbing, but the skin was closed
over in new growth. In a few more days it would be just scars that would
fade back to nothing in subsequent weeks. It was part of his continued
healing, and clear proof that Marcus wasn't lying about his immortality.
Marcus smiled again, indulging in Billy's happiness as a substitute for his
own. "Sure, we can look into Los Angeles if you like. No one would care
what we do there."
"Is it like this with every injury? Or does the time vary depending on the extensiveness of it?" Billy's own healing time was that of a normal human but his ability to withstand injury was a lot higher, his pain tolerance higher too. It meant he could go a lot longer before his body gave up on him; the thing that had ultimately kept him alive after the Mind Flayer.
"It definitely depends," Marcus said, not seeming to mind talking about
this now that it was out in the open. "Like a stabbing is different from having to regenerate something completely, and whether it's mortally wounding or just an inconvenience would factor in as well. For example, if I need to grow out a new body, it'll be a rough few months instead of days." But realizing that this might be a bit macabre for early morning conversation in a budding relationship, Marcus stopped himself.
"City gives anonymity, especially in one where everyone is trying to be
something they're not. They won't care about two guys living together... assuming that's what you want?" It was a fast move, but Marcus didn't do things half way.
"You can regrow your whole body?" Billy is both terrified by the implication and impressed by the ability. Of course, then it seems to click in his mind that for Marcus to know that, he'd have had to grow his body back at some point. "Wait... The fact that you've needed to..." He shivers.
"Of course that's what I'd want. The whole point of moving to the city would be so we could be together."
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"Because you're immortal?" It didn't matter that Marcus had fucked the thoughts out of his head last night, he still remembered Marcus' offhanded comment about it the night before.
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Marcus sighed at the little shit's persistent view. There really was no shaking him off. Maybe it was the early morning after a really good night, or that he was still comfortable in bed, or he was too old to really care about this, but instead of denying it again, he just raised an eyebrow.
"You're going to die eventually..." Billy wasn't likely going to spill this to someone else, not with his own secrets to keep. So there was no point in keeping dancing around on it. "So what if it was?"
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"So what, you're just supposed to spend your incredibly long life alone?"
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It probably didn't take a mind reader to guess this was probably a sore topic for Marcus from the way his face closed down, or went more impassive than normal. "It'll happen regardless," he said, letting out some of his bottled nihilism when prompted. "So yeah... That's the way it goes."
He sat up in the bed as well, the covers sliding down to his waist as he did so. His stab wound was well on its way healed although not yet completely, another sign of his unnatural abilities. "That's why we shouldn't do this again."
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"Or we can because it was fun and we both enjoyed ourselves and unless you're about to take off now, we're going to be working together for a while and why not indulge?" He offers a soft smile. "I really like you, Marcus."
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Marcus didn't like being cornered, but he wasn't about to push the young man off either. Especially not with the light touch of fingers in his hair, feeling more intimate than all the fucking they did last night.
Because it'll end, was what he didn't say, looking slightly pained in his gaze. The problem, the precise problem, was he liked Billy too, and his fondness would turn into something greater if he didn't pull back now.
"Just indulge?" he asked instead. "Just carnal pleasures until one of us leaves the job?" It wouldn't work, but he almost wanted it to if just so he could linger longer.
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But he doesn't say that, doesn't want Marcus to make a choice based on that. So he combs his fingers through Marcus' hair gently and he waits.
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That willingness to go forward made Marcus hesitate. "I'm not relationship material..." Except Billy was looking at him with earnest patience, waiting gently with his hands continuing to run through his hair like he had all the time in his incredibly short mortal life.
"Hargrove... Billy... I can't get close when I know you'll eventually leave..." He wanted to though. He didn't care what Billy had done or what a monster he thought himself was, all that didn't matter to Marcus. What did was Billy was here and was reaching out, and Marcus had been alone for long enough that he was almost willing to try again even though he knew it would end in only tragedy.
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"Is that really better? You have all the lifetimes to live, why spend them all miserable?"
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"Because..." It hurts too much to watch someone he get close to eventually pass away to that oblivion and leave him. He spent centuries convincing himself that it was better to not have, and hence not miss what he did not have.
But it wasn't easier, and the loneliness had been eating at him for so long that he wasn't sure if it was really 'better' anymore. "There's no way this could work... I mean... You would not care what people think about us being guys in this current era? Among other things. And I'm much older than you."
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"Then we leave this shitty little town, find somewhere that there's less judgement. Although, I did survive an attack by the Russians and save a bunch of kids, so I get a little bit of leeway.
"And as for your age? So? You barely look older than 35."
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When was the last time someone kissed Marcus that way, or Marcus allowed someone close enough to? That seemed to be the last chip needed to crack through his defenses, and he leaned his forehead back against Billy's, shoulders slumping a little. "If you don't mind it, then I don't," Marcus decided.
He didn't care what people thought and had brought it up originally only because he was still hesitating. Once he made his decision though, the views of the world didn't matter. "We can stay if you'd rather not uproot what you have here."
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"I don't have a lot here. Max is away at college and so... it's just you." He smiles. "I miss the beach."
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Seeing how uplifted his simple agreement made Billy was enough to have Marcus crack a slight smile back. "We can look for somewhere quiet with a nice stretch of sand," he suggested. For once it would be a simple move and he wouldn't have to go through his contacts to reinvent himself yet. But if they were to try this together, perhaps quiet might not be the best option. "Or a coastal city."
Clearly he had no attachments here, or anywhere for that matter. Just places he shouldn't be to avoid being recognized.
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"Are there rules we have to follow? Y'know, because you're an immortal?"
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The question made Marcus raise a brow at his work partner. "Rules? I'm still human, Hargrove, just a really long lived one. I don't need to stay out of the sun or howl at a full moon," he said sarcastically, although he was incredibly relaxed under the soft way Billy kept kneading into the back of his head. Marcus leaned into those touches like he hungered for more even while he rested his own hands on Billy's hips to keep him in place on his lap.
"I just need to avoid mixing up with my previous identities to avoid awkward situations." Or keep secret the fact that he was still running a criminal organization from afar. But very human problems.
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It's almost worth the cost.
"That's what I meant."
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Marcus released a disgruntled grunt when his hair was pulled, but it was quickly soothed over when Billy started running his hands over him instead. It made up for it enough that he forgave him for the rough treatment. "I wasn't near any of the coasts for the last while. So if you want beaches..."
Marcus' thumbs drew circles on Billy's hip bones, light soft touches over the forming mild bruises where he might have held Billy a bit too tightly during their events last night. "You can choose the location."
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"I'd love to go home to California."
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"We can," Marcus confirmed, his expression softening with each kiss until he leaned forward and took one back from Billy. Noticing the fingers on his shoulder, he said softly, "You can take that off. It should be closed by now."
It wouldn't be hard to relocate to the sunny state, and it wasn't somewhere he settled before. "Where in California were you from?" Regardless, relocating would take a while, and it might be a good idea for them to get used to the idea of them being a pair before making such a big step. Marcus was ready to jump in with both feet once decided, but he couldn't say the same on Billy's behalf.
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"I don't think I'd want to go to the same area; too many bad memories. But somewhere near the beach." It's probably rushed and there's no way of even knowing if they're going to last but there's no harm in putting it out there now. Even if it does just assure Marcus that Billy is really in for this.
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Marcus' shoulder where the injury was remained scabbed and puckered in the circular scarring matching the bottle stabbing, but the skin was closed over in new growth. In a few more days it would be just scars that would fade back to nothing in subsequent weeks. It was part of his continued healing, and clear proof that Marcus wasn't lying about his immortality.
Marcus smiled again, indulging in Billy's happiness as a substitute for his own. "Sure, we can look into Los Angeles if you like. No one would care what we do there."
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"Yeah? You'd wanna live in the city?"
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"It definitely depends," Marcus said, not seeming to mind talking about this now that it was out in the open. "Like a stabbing is different from having to regenerate something completely, and whether it's mortally wounding or just an inconvenience would factor in as well. For example, if I need to grow out a new body, it'll be a rough few months instead of days." But realizing that this might be a bit macabre for early morning conversation in a budding relationship, Marcus stopped himself.
"City gives anonymity, especially in one where everyone is trying to be something they're not. They won't care about two guys living together... assuming that's what you want?" It was a fast move, but Marcus didn't do things half way.
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"Of course that's what I'd want. The whole point of moving to the city would be so we could be together."
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